id be glad to
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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