It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My breasts were aching with rage.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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