Capitaan dildo arrescate!
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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