Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
