we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
