So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
