I'm so fucking centered right now
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
