come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
