covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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