Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize