you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
