Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize