blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
