I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
