ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
