Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
