Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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