How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
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the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize