Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
