Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
