I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
