Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night