Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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