My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
