we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
