So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize