I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
