Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
You can't motorboat a personality
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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