I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
