i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
