i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
did you just send me my own nude
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
