O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
How does one acquire holy water?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
