my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
