Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
