But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
