Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize