Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
i've created a new STD.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
