he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
