I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
