so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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