my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
