Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
