I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
