I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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