Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He told me they were just razor bumps!
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize