dude i'm inner monologue high
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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