Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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