We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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