Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
