She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
