Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
now i know why i became what i already was.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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