I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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