the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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