Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You need Xanax blowdarts
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
