You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
