well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
