Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
These tits shall not be calmed
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
