Where is the hickey?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
