I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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