i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
