my sisters under your porch take her home
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize