Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
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