Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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