But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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