I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
